just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
