Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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