mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
