I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
