Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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