I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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