So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
