their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
