butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
