im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
