So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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