Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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