Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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