I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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