Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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