He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
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