My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
