i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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