Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
