my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.