you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...