I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts