I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself