I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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