I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
