life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
3 2 1 whiskey
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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