i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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