you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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