Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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