I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
