I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
