Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
