I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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