So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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