You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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