shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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