I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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