READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
