Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You can't motorboat a personality
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
