And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize