i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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