id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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