i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I need a beard to bite.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
