I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
