My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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