I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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