Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
