Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
