But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
