This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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