I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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