Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
