no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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