i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize