Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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