I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
