And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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