Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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